California Love Episode One

Written by

Howard J. Leonhardt

June 27th, 2014

 

1531 6th Street, Unit 401

Santa Monica, CA 90401

(310) 310 2534

SFX – A series of short shots of couples explaining quickly how they met and fell in love.

 

CUT TO:

 

SFX – California Love theme song with collage of lovers in different embraces, kisses and situations.

 

 

Narrator

There is no type of love that stirs the emotions of man more than romantic love.  Every epic love story, every single love story, begins with that magical spark of the first moment of meeting.  Every long lasting love has that special moment where each realizes they have fallen in love.   Our simple show is about these moments.   Love is a strange feeling.  Scientists believe that the most exhilarating of all human emotions is probably just nature’s beautiful way of keeping the human species alive and reproducing.  But to those floating on air from the spell of love they know deep in their hearts it is much more than just this.  Love leaves you feeling anxious, but you find yourself bounding with joy.   Psychologists have shown it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone.   Our show is about those magical seconds that can change the course of a person’s life.   Oliver Wendell Holmes said “love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.”  Our show is about that special moment that that key is found.  This show is for those of us that still believe in romantic love.  As Neale Walsch has written “from the highest mountain it has been shouted, in the lowest place its whisper has been heard. Through the corridors of all human experience has this truth been echoed: Love is the answer.”  To paraphrase Paul McCartney “you’d think that people would have had enough of silly love shows.  But I look around me and see it isn’t so.  Some people want fill the world with silly love stories.  And what’s wrong with that?”

 

California Love

Episode 1 – Part I

Love and The Package

CUT TO:

 

INT.  OFFICE MAIL ROOM – DAY

 

 

DIRK

Hey hey Lonnie check it out.  There is the boss mans hot new secretary.  She is from Spain or somewhere like that.

LONNIE

She is not only hot she is super amazing hot.  Wow.   I don’t think I have ever seen a lady so beautiful.

DIRK

Too bad guys like us in the mail room never have a chance with a gal like that.

LONNIE

Oh yeah…..who says so.  I don’t.

DIRK

Yeah dream on buddy.

LONNIE

I will do more than dream Dirko.  I will act.

CUT TO:

INT.   BOSSES OFFICE – DAY

 

 

BOSS MAN – WALTER MIZNER

This company makes money because we are efficient.  We do not waste time or money.  We watch every cent and we never pay more for something than we absolutely have to.  That is how my father ran this business and his grandfather before him.   Do you understand?

SECRETARY – ISABEL

Yes Mr. Mizner, understand clearly.

WALTER

Your job is to help me do my job.  My job is to make sure that we are getting our money’s worth for every cent we spend here.   Got it?

ISABEL

Yes, got it.

WALTER

OK I have heard that the mail room crew is playing dice out back when they are supposed to be sorting mail.   I want you to take this letter down there and scope it out and report back to me.

ISABEL

Yes, Mr. Mizner.

 

CUT TO:

INT.  MAILROOM – DAY

 

 

DIRK

I want a shot at getting my $20 back Lonnie.

LONNIE

It has not been your week for luck Dirko with your girlfriend leaving you and all.  And the thing with that cat eating your dog. And your Grandma slipping on those grapes you dropped on her tile floor.  You sure you want to make a bad week worse?

DIRK

It can’t get worse.   I’ll take my chances.  I am due now for a lucky streak.  And hey a cat didn’t EAT my dog, it just scratched its neck open.  And those were not my grapes on the floor no matter what Grandma says.  I think it was that damn cat that knocked them on the floor.   I can’t believe Grandma Henry is blaming ME for her fall.  She cut me out of her inheritance and I was counting on getting her grand piano.

LONNIE

OK OK if you are sure.  I need to just finish sorting through these marketing department mail outs and I can start rolling the ole bones.

CUT TO:

INT.  MAIL ROOM COUNTER – DAY

 

 

ISABEL

Hello, hello…………anybody here???   Hello

Rings bell.  Rings bell again.

CUT TO:

EXT.  ALLEY BEHIND MAIL ROOM – DAY

 

DIRK

Damn it!  How can you possibly win 7 rolls in a row.  That is statistically impossible.

LONNIE

This week is my week bubba boy not yours.  Sorry.  What can I say.  Some guys just have all the luck.

DIRK

If you had all the luck you would be sitting up in the bosses plush suite with a cigar in your mouth and that hot secretary just outside your office, not in an alley with me rolling dice for dollars.

LONNIE

Hear that noise?

DIRK

Ah man somebody is at the counter.  Let’s get back inside quick like.

CUT TO:

EXT.  MAIL ROOM COUNTER – DAY

 

 

DIRK

May I help you Mam?

ISABEL

Yes, I need this letter sent priority overnight without fail for Mr. Mizner.

LONNIE

I can take care of that right away for you dear lady.

ISABEL

Thank you.

LONNIE

You just joined us.  Welcome aboard.

ISABEL

Thank you again.  I am very glad to be aboard.

LONNIE

Dirk here tells me you are from Spain.  Is that true?

ISABEL

No, I am from Peru in South America.

LONNIE

Are all ladies from Peru as beautiful as you?  Where did you work before here?

ISABEL

I was and still am a stand up Comedian.  I just took this day job to have a steady paycheck.

LONNIE

Really wow.  I would love to see you perform some time.  I love comedy.

ISABEL

I will let you know when I get my next gig.   Gotta go.  Nice meeting you.

LONNIE

Nice meeting you too Isabel.  Look forward to seeing your next show.

CUT TO:

INT.  Comedy Club – Night

 

ISABEL – On Stage

I am an immigrant.  I moved to the USA just this year.  I am amazed at how nice everyone is.  All the white women are so friendly.  They come up to me out of the blue and just talk.  However, it is kind of interesting that they all seem of the same opening line “do you clean”?  I reply yes of course I clean myself every day with a shower in the morning and sometimes a shower again at night.  Is that kind of like “how do you do”?  here?   Also the guys are so nice.  They offer a place for me to stay without charge.

I have had a couple of American boyfriends since I moved here.  I noticed something funny.  When they kiss me they all seem to do the same thing  – she demonstrates a hand pushing her head downwards -.  Why do they do that?  Does that mean they like me?

The differences between Men and Women are amazing.  The same note can be interpreted completely different.  I woman recently put a note on their refrigerator “It’s not working.  I can’t take it anymore.  I am going to stay at my mothers.” The guy gets to the refrigerator sees the note and in a panic opens the refrigerator grabs a beer from inside and is relieved IT IS COLD.  He exclaims “what the heck is she talking about????? the frig is working just fine.”

LONNIE

This chick is really funny.  She is good.

DIRK

Sounds like she cuttin into guys man.  I wouldn’t have just worried about the beer in the fridge I would have worried about the food spoiling too.  Does she think all guys are just shallow beer drinkers?  I would of called my gal to let her know the frig was working fine again too.

LONNIE

Haha you crack me up Dirk.

ISABEL

Well that’s the show for tonight folks.  Thanks everyone for coming, especially the guys back there at table 8 from my day job.  Thanks guys!

(Dirk  says hi and leaves.  Isabel and Lonnie go to diner next door for a cup of hot chocolate and talk for hours sharing intimate details of life dreams, favorite movies, songs, actors etc.)

LONNIE

Isabel, what is your big dream?

ISABEL

I want to first go on a tour of the USA with someone I love and play all the great comedy houses.  The places all my heroes performed like Second City Theater in Chicago and The Comedy House in New York.   I then want to end up in Hollywood making movies that make people laugh.

CUT TO:

INT.  BACK STAGE COMEDY HOUSE – NIGHT

 

 

ISABEL

Hey guys thanks for coming.

LONNIE

You were so funny Isabel.  You are good at this job.  I would say quit your day job, but I don’t want that to happen because then I would not be able to see you so much.

DIRK

The one about the broken refrigerator was great.  I was worried the food was going to spoil.

CUT TO:

INT.  OFFICE – DAY

 

 

BOSS MAN – WALTER

Hey Isabel I have tickets to the Kentucky Derby this week.   Two box seats right near the finish line.  Do you want to go?

ISABEL

Where is that?

BOSS MAN – WALTER

It is in Churchill Downs, Kentucky.  We can fly there in my private jet.

ISABEL

Wow have never been to a horse race or on a private jet.  Yes, I guess I can go.

BOSS MAN – WALTER

We will have to get you a derby dress and hat.   I will send a limo and a professional shopper to pick you up at your house tonight at 7pm to take you shopping.  We leave to the derby tomorrow at 7am sharp.  A limo will be at your house to pick you up at 6am.  Is that OK?

ISABEL

Yes that is very OK.  Thank you.  But what is a derby dress?

BOSS MAN – WALTER

Don’t worry the professional shopper I am sending will guide you.

CUT TO:

EXT.  MAIL ROOM – DAY

 

 

LONNIE

Today is the big day Dirko.

DIRK

What’s big about it?

LONNIE

Today is the first day I am actually going to ask Isabel out on a date.  I got tickets to  her favorite artists in concert Harry Conick Jr. and Michael Buble.   It cost me half a paycheck to land these babies (he waves the tickets in front of Dirks nose).  She loves Harley’s and I rented one to pick her up and take her to the concert.

CUT TO:

INT.  BOSSES OFFICE – DAY

 

 

BOSS MAN – WALTER

Hey one more thing.  A few of my closest friends want to place some bets on the horses and I told them my secretary would take their bets and get them placed when we land in Churchill Downs.

ISABEL

OK no problem.

(As soon as Isabel walks out of office her phone rings)

ISABEL

Hello?

GUY ON PHONE

I will take horse 6 on Race 1 to place and horse 5 to show and horse 2 to win.  I want a Trifecta bet on horses 4, 2 1 and race 2.  On race 3 horse 7 to win, horse 2 to place and horse 3 to show.

ISABEL

Ah, hold on please I need to get another piece of paper and please speak a little more slowly please.

GUY ON PHONE

What’s wrong don’t you understand English toots.

(Isabel’s phone rings non-stop with one bet placed after another.  She is exhausted by the time 5pm comes and she is set to go home.)

BOSS MAN- WALTER

Before you go home Isabel can you run this letter down to the mail room?

ISABEL

Yes, Walter.

CUT TO:

INT.   MAIL ROOM – DAY

 

 

DIRK

Speak of the devil.  Look who is coming with mail in hand.

LONNIE

Ah geez.  Thanks for the heads up Dirko.  Now I am nervous as hell.

ISABEL

Hi Lonnie hi Dirk.  Got one last letter to mail and I am heading home.  It has been an exhausting day.

DIRK

Nice seeing you Isabel.  Bye.  I gotta go in back and do some mail sorting.

LONNIE

Isabel I am glad you came down before going home.  I was waiting all day to talk to you.  You see I picked up tickets to Harry Connick Jr. and Michael Buble and wanted to know if you want to go to see them tomorrow?

ISABEL

Oh I am so sorry Lonnie but I already have plans for Saturday.  I love Harry Connick Jr. AND Micheal Buble.  I would have loved to go to that concert.

LONNIE

Dang.  Are you sure you can’t change your plans to go?

ISABEL

Sorry Lonnie can’t.

LONNIE

I understand.

ISABEL

Yells to back room.  Bye Dirk!  Have a nice weekend.  You too Lonnie.  I hope you go to the concert and have a great time.  I want to hear all about it on Monday.

(Isabel’s phone is ringing with more bets to be placed.)

CUT TO:

EXT. HORSE TRACK – DAY

 

 

ISABEL

(Phone still ringing non-stop with more and more bets.  Juggling stacks of notes of bets.)

Yes sir don’t worry your bet will be placed.

   BOSS MAN – WALTER

Hey Isabel my good friend Jack called and said he called your line to place a bet and you did not answer.  What have you been doing?  Goofing off?  Try to answer your phone when an important call like Jack is coming in. OK?

ISABEL

I was on the line writing down bets for Frank, Alice, Johnny, Ralph,  Harry and dozens of other guys including some guy that said his name was just “Big Fats” that was really rude.   Sorry I did not switch over and answer.

BOSS MAN – WALTER

OK. OK.  I got it.  Here is Frank’s number just call him when you can.

CUT TO:

INT.  FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

 

 

(Candle light, champagne, flowers, the works, overlooking the horse track.  Isabel is getting a bit tipsy)

 

BOSS MAN – WALTER

I am sorry so many of my closest friends called to place bets.  I did not know that they were all so into the horse races.

ISABEL

It’s OK.  Once I got the lingo down a bit it actually was kinda sorta fun in an exhausting kind of way.

(The night goes on and Walter makes some in roads on starting to win over Isabel.)

CUT TO:

INT.  DINER – NIGHT

(Isabel and Lonnie again have a heart to heart late night talk after one of her shows).

(Time lapse of Lonnie talking to Isabel at work on a regular basis.  Making her laugh).

CUT TO:

INT. MAIL ROOM– DAY

 

DIRK

Lonnie, I overheard something up stairs you are not going to like it all.

LONNIE

Dirk, there is nothing you could say that would ruin my good mood today.  Today at the water cooler Isabel agreed to go to the movies with me this Friday.

DIRK

Do you want to hear it or not?

LONNIE

What is it?

DIRK

I heard that this Friday the Boss Man – Walter is going to propose to Isabel.  I heard her Isabel telling her girlfriend that she learned that Walter bought a ring for her when she was going through his stuff for work.  Her girlfriend was trying to convince Isabel to say yes and Isabel told her that she is not sure what she will say, she has to think about it.

LONNIE

Oh my God.  You are kidding me right?

DIRK

Unfortunately no Lonnie.  I swear on my slipping on the cat spilled grapes Grandmothers grave.  Cross my heart.  I would not joke about that with you.  I know how much you like her.

LONNIE

We have to do something.  We need a plan of action.

(Both sitting thinking).

LONNIE

I got it!  Grab that big box in the back.

(Dirk helps pack Lonnie in a box and gets his neighbor a UPS guy to take Lonnie to Isabel’s place)

CUT TO:

INT:   ISABEL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

 

 

ISABEL

(Talking on phone with girlfriend.)

Yes, he is on the way over now.  I know he has the ring with him.  I am a bit nervous.  I still have not decided what to say.

 

(Knock, knock on door)

ISABEL

Oh my god.  He is already here.  I am not even ready yet.  I have to get the door.  Bye.

(Isabel gets door.  The UPS guys has a large package and helps carry it inside.)

ISABEL

Thank you.  That is a large package.  I wonder would it could be.

(Isabel continues getting ready for her visistor.  She hears rustling in the box and grabs a baseball bat from her room.)

ISABEL

Who is in there?  I can hear you rustling.  I have a weapon in my hand you better not try anything.  My boyfriend is about to arrive any second and will also crush you.

LONNIE

Isabel, it is me Lonnie from the mail room.

ISABEL

Lonnie, what are you doing in that box??

LONNIE

(He pops out of top of box)

I am here because I know that guy is coming with a ring to propose to you and I am here to talk you out of saying yes.    That guy just wants to put you barefoot in a kitchen to cook for him and have his babies.  His Mother will be running your life.  He wants a wife as just another employee to get things done he wants done not for love.   He doesn’t even know you.  I know your dreams.  You belong with me not him.

(Knock, knock, knock – someone is at the door).

ISABEL

Hurry get back in the box Lonnie and be quite.

(Isabel opens doors and hugs Walter).

BOSS MAN – WALTER

Hello my dear.  Tonight is a night many woman around the world have waited for but it is not a night for them it is a night for you.

ISABEL

What do you mean Walter?  I have no idea what you could be talking about?

BOSS MAN – WALTER

I have exciting news…..guess what?

ISABEL

What?

BOSS MAN – WALTER

The house next to my mother has come available.  It has a large Italian style kitchen and is already set up a with a baby nursery.

(Noise is heard from box.)

LONNIE

I told you so.  I told you so.  I told you  so.

BOSS MAN – WALTER

What’s that noise from that box.

ISABEL

I think that is my new Ipod player I  bought from ITunes.

BOSS MAN – WALTER

That is an awfully large box for an Ipod player.

(Walter moves over to box and pulls the lid off.)

What the hell?  Are you cheating on me?

ISABEL

No Walter, Lonnie just mailed himself to me to try to warn me not to accept your proposal tonight.

BOSS MAN – WALTER

How do you know about that?  Have you been spying on me?

ISABEL

No Walter, I am your secretary and the receipt for the ring was in your expense report receipts from your trip AND you were speaking very loudly to your Mother when you told her and I could hear you.

BOSS MAN – WALTER

Well I would never give a ring to cheat and a spy.   Good bye I am outta here?

LONNIE

Good ridens dude and btw I quit and so does Isabel.  Isabel is going on a national tour of the top comedy clubs in the country and is moving to Hollywood afterwards to be in movies that make people laugh.  And I am driving her….

ISABEL

Good ridens Walter and please get out of my house before this bat slips out of my hand towards your head.

(Isabel gets in box with Lonnie and Kisses him.)

LONNIE

Second City Comedy Club Chicago here we come!

 

 

 

 

Category:

Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*